March 20th, 2013 Part III

  Six months.  They estimated our baby had only been alive for six months.  Of course this worried me but it was not quite as frightening as the prospect of the love of my life giving birth to a stillborn.  Ectopic pregnancy is when the baby develops outside the womb and cannot survive.  At least our baby had a heartbeat.  But a baby born three months premature still seemed tragic and scary.  I was kept separate from the birth, presumably, because of the high chance of tragedy.
  Many scenarios crossed my mind.  We didn't know our baby was there; if it was alive now, would it survive being born?  Would it be in an incubator fighting for life until...  No prenatal care, no concern for its health or well-being...  It hadn't been growing with a heavy drinker, or a smoker, or a drug user but my mind scoured the last several months for all the mistakes I had made as I am sure my beautiful girlfriend was also doing.  I prayed so hard for her.  I knew that if this baby didn't make it, she would never be the same.  The guilt would destroy her... and us.
  "Maybe more like eight months," I heard as the delivering doctors and nurses encouraged and guided the birth. "Eight months!" I thought.
   I heard 'pushes' and 'breathes' and seconds in between.  By this time a crowd had developed; what seemed like half of the ER staff gathered around the spectacle: Doctors, nurses, and whoever else wanted to have an eventful day (no, I am not versed in hospital staff hierarchy).  Most of them had no idea about the possible sadness they could be witnessing.  I hear one girl say,"Ooooh! I wanna see a baby," in a bubble-filled voice.
  Finally, I heard the most beautiful, surreal, egobreaking words a man will ever hear: "It's a girl!"  And I heard her.  And we heard the crowd cheer.  They went wild.  The female EMT, who held my girlfriend's hand during birth, cried real tears.  For the first time, I heard the squeal of our miracle baby; crying like a normal baby.
  "Come on," said Mike,"come see your daughter."  I was frozen.  She was in a bubble, moments after she was born.  I was stunned.  I moved when Mike told me to move.  My mind was blank.  She was going to be rushed to the ICU for obvious reasons. I was in awe and my thoughts were slow. We just had a baby.  I walked through the crowd in time to see my daughter as she was pushed out of the room.  She was so beautiful and looked just like her mother.